I made a pact with myself that 'd be painfully honest when I started this blog, no PC Filtering, so here goes. People struggle with catastrophes . I totally get that. When something horrible happens, so many just don't know what to say but want to say something . They mean to comfort, to show that they care about you, your situation.   Some people donate to charities to offset a feeling of despair when faced with a catastrophe; it gives them the uplifting sense of helping.  Some people come to your door with casseroles or bouquets. Some folks send pretty cards with hearts and flowers to tug a smile out of you and let you know you're cared for. Those all work; those are all powerful little blessings to the recipients of them. Maybe they're BIG blessings, depending on how your day is going.    God please richly bless every single one of those folks who endeavor to lighten the load for even                   ...

3:22 a.m. Sleep refuses to stay the night. There's a soft pinkish silver ring halo-ing around the moon...another big storm with lots of precipitation is coming. The moon never lies. I remember the moon portents from my sailing days. I wish I was on my boat right now. I slept better there than any place else in my life; true peace. Another night of sleeping in fits, if it can be called sleep, tormented by wakefulness and worry; endless knotty worry with sharp thorns that prick my consciousness. I have such a strong urge to do nothing: no surgery, no chemo, no radiation. Just live my life 100 mph until there's no more life to live. The Warrior Way. That would upset the people I love, though; that would hurt them . Isn't it the greatest love of all to suffer hurt for those we love?  To spare them?           Is it also the Warrior Way to submit oneself to pain? To uncertainty, doubt, agony, loss?           ...